FAQ-from the normal to the bizarre

If you put yourself out there on social media you’re bound to get asked the most random questions.  Of course, not all of them are bizarre. Here’s a few of the more frequently asked questions I get (in no particular order):

 

How old are you?

My short stature and forever 25 hashtags may have confused some people, but to set the record straight I am 38 years old. Do the math people I have a 10 year old daughter, although it’s not unfathomable that she could be my little sister at some point.

 

How tall are you and How much do you weigh?

I’m 5’0 tall, I like to say I’m tall for my height because it makes perfect sense, and my weight ranges anywhere from 112-114lbs and as high as 117lbs a day after some tasty pizza laced with MSG.

 

so talll
so tall

Do you do steroids?

No I do not do steroids. I don’t care if you do and I’m not holier than thou because I don’t.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again steroids DO NOT make you great you still have to put in the work.  On the flip side, I choose to stay clean because I don’t want any of the side effects that come with doing them, especially for the women.

 

What’s your diet like?

I hate this question the most because it’s usually followed with wanting to know exactly what I eat and at what time etc etc.  The thing is if you follow my diet exactly you’re probably not getting what YOU need to succeed if you’re say 5’7 and 190lbs; my exact eating plan will not be enough. I’ve been competing since I was 17 so I know my body pretty well and follow a common sense approach…not too much of anything, MODERATION.   If I was going to do a physique show I’d definitely track it more closely but right now I pretty much just eyeball everything and yes I eat carbs.

 

How long have you been training?

Lifting since I was 17 and doing PL going on 3 1/2 maybe even 4 years now.  Prior to that I was a gymnast, so basically, I’ve been pretty active my entire life.

 

Do you do cardio?

Yes. 30 minutes three times a week. Aside from actually enjoying the loud bass bumping in my ears as I pedal madly on the bike, I do it because I think it’s an important element in your training that a lot of lifters overlook. Plus, if I ever need to out run someone I..uh well never mind I still probably couldn’t.

 

How big are your biceps and quads?

I get asked this so much and honestly I never measured anything but for the sake of this qna…sigh biceps 13 inches and quads 20. I almost feel dirty now.

 

Will you carry me or scissor leg lock me?

No, no I will not. I’m not in dire straits yet.  Although, if my son keeps going over on my data with his damn xbox….eh nope not even then, Sorrrrry weirdoes.

 

Last but not least I got asked this last question only once but it actually got me thinking and made me have a good laugh at myself.

What’s your most embarrassing moment?

I really had to think about this because quite honesty I think I could write a book on embarrassing moments I have SOOOO many.  But, for time’s sake and to keep it PG, I’m going with an office moment back when I had a “real” job.

If you’re a female you will totally understand this. It was that time of the month (another reason being a man would be just fabulous) and not wanting to carry my purse through the office because that’s just obvious, I cleverly slid the tampon into my shirt sleeve just below my wrist.  So there I go sashaying through the office, talking shit to the guys, because well that’s just me, when all of a sudden I trip. Not just any trip, the kind where your arms go flailing about. The kind of trip that sends my tampon flying from my sleeve across the office like a rocket ship as I head face first into the floor.  So much for being discreet and let’s just say I lost that round of shit talking.

Side note: do they really need to make tampon packaging fluorescent colored n shit? Why not go with a more subtle color like neutral or camouflage even.

 

Craziest question you’ve ever been asked?

 

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